


The Masks We Wear

by awkwardly_living



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, High School, Hunk (Voltron) is so Pure, I love him, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith (Voltron) Has Anxiety, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Pidge | Katie Holt, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Physical Abuse, Shiro (Voltron) Angst, Shiro (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Slow Burn, Socially Awkward Keith (Voltron), adam is still alive bc f you dreamworks, also mood, for klance most likely, mood tbh, platonic kidge bc hell yeah, same, yeet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2019-10-15 16:18:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17532074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awkwardly_living/pseuds/awkwardly_living
Summary: High school can feel like hell. This fact is especially true for Lance, Keith, Pidge, and Hunk. The four teens have a lot of issues. Can they work together and get through them or will this story have a less than happy ending? Let's find out together.--------------possible trigger warning. as always, please keep an eye out for the tags, warnings, and author's notes as they will be updated with every new chapter. stay safe, guys <3--------------next chapter will be posted on may 6th





	1. Lance: Introductions

**Author's Note:**

> yeet 
> 
> I wrote this chapter like a year ago so please don't hate me
> 
>  
> 
> also sub to pewdiepie

     Lance sighed as he walked down the hallway of Arus High School. His backpack felt unusually heavy that day, even though the weight hadn’t changed. He tried to ignore the stares and whispers of his fellow students around him, keeping his head down as much as possible. Finally, he was able to slip into his chemistry class, and went over to sit with his best friend, Hunk. He dropped his backpack on the floor and slid into his seat, laying his head down on the desk.

     “Hey, dude, what’s wrong?” Hunk asked, rubbing Lance’s back. Lance flinched at the sudden contact, making Hunk take his hand back and whisper, “He hit you again, didn’t he.” Lance just sniffled in reply. Hunk’s heart broke for the boy next to him.

     “Can I hug you?” Hunk asked, holding his arms open a bit. Lance nodded and leaned into Hunk’s chest, feeling safe in his best friend’s embrace. They didn’t move for a minute or so, until the teacher, Ms. Haggar, called the class to order. The brunet quickly wiped his eyes and faced the teacher, mentally building up his protective walls again. 

* * *

      After three periods of chemistry, calculus, and grammar, they finally made it to lunch. Lance took Hunk’s backpack and headed over to their usual table while Hunk got in line to get them food. As Lance was just sitting down, a short ginger-haired student came up to him.

     “Hey, is anyone sitting here?” they asked.

     “Well, my friend Hunk will in a minute, but he won’t mind if you join us,” Lance said, not fully paying attention.

     “Cool,” they said, plopping down in the chair and pulling a sandwich out of their bag.

     “I’m Lance, what’s your name?”

     “Pidge.” Lance raised an eyebrow.

     “That’s a weird name. Cool, though.”

     Pidge grinned and adjusted their glasses, replying, “Yeah, my brother started calling me that when I was younger, so when I came out, I just decided to use that.”

     “Came out?”

     Pidge hesitated for a moment, tensing. “Uh, yeah. I’m non-binary.”

     Lance smiled and said, “Oh cool, I’m bi.”

     Pidge relaxed and smiled back. “Cool. So is Hunk just your friend or…” they waggled their eyebrows.

     Lance made a noise that best resembled a squeak and choked out, “N-no, he’s my best friend. Besides, he’s straight anyway.” Pidge chuckled.

     Right as Lance was about say something else, Hunk walked up and said, “Oh, hi! I’m Hunk!” He put his tray down and sat down, pushing the other tray towards Lance.

     “I’m Pidge.” They held out their hand, and Hunk shook it with a smile.

     “Nice to meet you, Pidge.” The three of the sat in silence for a few minutes before Hunk finally said, “You gonna eat that?” Lance looked up and saw him pointing at his sandwich.

     “Oh, nah, I’m good. You can have it.” Hunk took the sandwich after saying thanks. Lance finally snapped out of his thoughts and spent the rest of lunch rambling on about some meteor shower he had seen that week. Hunk smiled at his talkative friend, thinking that all would work out to be alright.

* * *

     “Mama! I’m home!” Lance called as he shut the front door behind him. After slipping off his sneakers, he headed into the kitchen, where his mother usually was when he got home from school.

     “Mom?” his puzzlement grew as he searched all over the house but didn’t find anyone. Finally, he decided to head up to his room and see if they were hiding there for some reason. They weren’t, but he saw the note that his mother had apparently left him. He picked it up and read it softly under his breath, eyes narrowed at the paper.

 

_Lance,_

_Marco and I are taking the twins to the doctor’s office and will be back home soon. We left at 3:00. Grab a snack if you’re hungry, but don’t leave the house._

_Love,_

_Mama._

 

Lance was wracking his brain for the memory of his mama telling him about this appointment. His confusion grew when he couldn’t think of one.

 _Maybe I should call just in case…_ Lance pulled his phone out of his pocket and tapped his mom’s contact information before holding the phone to his ear. The line was silent for a few moments before it finally began ringing. And ringing. And ringing. Lance called his mom twice, and none of them were answered. Already regretting his decision, he called his brother, Luis's, phone. Still no answer.

 _Why wouldn’t they be answering? What if they got in a car crash? What if he hurt them? What if-_ He shook his head to try to stop thinking of all the worst possible circumstances. He grabbed his backpack and pulled out their homework assignments. He figured he might as well get some work done to keep his mind off of everything.

* * *

     About fifteen minutes later, a call came from downstairs.

     “Mama! I’m home!” the person called. Lance pushed his notebooks to the side and rushed down the stairs to hug his favorite little sister.

     “Lance! Are you ok? What’s wrong?” she asked, wrapping her arms around his neck as he pulled her out of her wheelchair and into his arms. He mumbled something incoherently, and his sister asked him to repeat what he had said.

     “I just missed you, Isa, that’s all.” He carefully set her back into her wheelchair and gave her a tired smile. “How was school?”

     Isa narrowed her eyes at her brother and said, waving a finger in his face, “Nu-uh. No changing the subject this time. I know something’s wrong, so tell me.”

     Lance sighed and let his smile fade away. “Can we go up to my room?” Isa nodded. Lance bent down, back facing her, and without a moment of hesitance, Isa leapt onto his back as well as she could muster, wrapping her arms around his neck. Lance grabbed hold of her legs and held her up in a piggy-back carry before moving her wheelchair out of the way of the door. He took the stairs quickly, wanting to be in the safety of his room. Once there, he set Isa down on his bed and sat next to her after putting his schoolwork on the floor.

     She looked at him concernedly and said, “Alright, now what’s up?” Lance looked at the floor, an internal struggle in his mind raging. He didn’t want to get Isa involved, but he also knew that he needed to tell someone. A reassuring hand on his shoulder calmed his worries a bit enough for him to talk.

     “Marco-he, um,” Lance started.

     “You can tell me, Lance.” He swallowed the lump in his throat and continued.

     “Well, uh, you know when Marco gets drunk he gets really angry?” Isa nodded. Every member of the McClain family had witnessed Marco's tantrums at least once. "Well, sometimes, he can get, um, violent."

     “Ha-has he hit you?” Lance slowly nodded. Isa exhaled sharply and wrapped her arms around him. He turned a bit more towards her and hugged her back. “I’m so sorry. I can’t believe he would do that to you. I-Is that why I saw bloody towels in the trash last week?” the younger girl asked, pulling away just enough to look Lance in the eyes. Lance’s eyes widened. He hadn’t realized that anyone had seen them.

     “U-uh, yeah.” He looked away, not wanting to lie to her face.

     She took his face in her hands and said, “Lance, you need to tell mom.”

     He quickly shook his head and grabbed her hands in his. “Isa, you can’t tell anyone about it, ok? If you do, then he’ll just come after you, and I’m not letting that happen.”

     “But Lance…”

     “Promise me. Promise you won’t tell anyone.” Isa’s eyes were wide and full of tears. “Isa, please.”

     Finally, she nodded and said, “I-I promise.” She took her hands out of Lance’s grip and placed them in her lap, staring at the wall.

     “Can you take me downstairs now?” Lance nodded numbly and picked her up piggy-back style, taking her back to her wheelchair. He told her where the rest of the family was and went back up to his room. Tears spilled down his cheeks before he could even get the door closed. When he managed to get it shut, he leaned back against it and slid down till he was sitting on the floor, back against the door. He ran a hand through his hair as the tears continued to fall, pulling at the strands of brown. He sat there, motionless other than his hiccupping cries.

* * *

**_9:38-MasterChef-_** Hey dude, how are you feeling?

Lance looked down at his phone from its position on the floor where he had half-heartedly tossed it earlier. He didn’t want to talk to anyone yet. He just wanted to stay in bed for the rest of his life.

 ** _9:45-MasterChef-_** Lance?

With a sigh, Lance slowly crawled from his bed to the floor and grabbed his phone, mentally preparing to have to put on a happy face.

 ** _9:45-LancyLance-_** Hey sry dude I was helping mama with smthn

 ** _9:45-MasterChef-_** Oh ok, no problem. How are you doing?

Lance chuckled humorlessly at that. If only Hunk truly knew. If only anyone knew.

 ** _9:46-LanceyLance-_** I’m awesome obviously :D

 ** _9:46-MasterChef-_** You’re sure?

 ** _9:47-LanceyLance-_** Ofc, man

 ** _9:47-MasterChef-_** Ok. Well, I’m always here for you, you know?

 ** _9:47-LanceyLance-_** Thanks Hunk but I’m fine rlly

 ** _9:48-MasterChef-_** That’s good. So what are you up to?

 ** _9:48-LanceyLance-_** Homework :/

 ** _9:48-MasterChef-_** How are you just doing that now?

 ** _9:48-LanceyLance-_** I was hanging with Isa

 ** _9:49-MasterChef-_** Oh cool, tell her I said hi

 ** _9:49-LanceyLance-_** Will do

     Lance made a mock salute to his phone before chucking it up onto his bed.

     “Lance! Come down here for a moment!” he heard his mother call up the stairs. With a sigh, he pushed himself up off of the ground and headed downstairs.

     “Yeah, mama?” he asked, joining her in the kitchen. She looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

     “Why didn’t you tell me that you had another nosebleed?” He just looked at her, puzzled.

     “W-what are you talking about?” His mama shook her head and held up a bloody towel.

     “I found this in the trash. Now, why didn’t you tell me?”

     Lance opened his mouth to reply, when he saw Marco watching him from the other room. Lance snapped his eyes back to his mother and said, “U-uh, sorry, mama, I promise I’ll tell you next time. You were just busy with the twins, so I didn’t want to bother you.”

     Mrs. McLain smiled and pulled her taller son into a hug as he breathed a sigh of relief. “All right, mijo. Just don’t worry about ever bothering me with anything, ok? I love you so, so much,” she said, pinching his cheeks. Lance chuckled awkwardly and said, “Love you too, mama. I’m gonna head up to bed; I’m pretty tired. Goodnight.”

    His mom looked a bit confused, but just smiled and said, “Goodnight, hun.”

* * *

     Hunk wasn’t at school for lunch because of some kind of doctor’s appointment, so Lance headed over to their table alone. Not even a minute had passed until Pidge popped down on the chair next to him.

     “Hey, blue-boy. Where’s Hunk?” they asked, biting into a sandwich.

     “He has a doctor’s appointment,” Lance said, ignoring the nickname.

     Pidge nodded before swallowing her latest sandwich bite and saying, “Do you mind if my friend sits here too?”

     “’Course, more the merrier!” He stretched his arms above his head.

     Pidge fished their phone out of their backpack, typing something in before holding the phone to their ear. After a moment, she said, “Dude, where are you?” Lance couldn’t hear what the person on the other line said, but from Pidge’s eye-roll, it was obviously something dumb by their standards. “Just come over here. It’s not like other high-school students bite.” Another small moment of silence which earned another eye-roll from Pidge. “Well, why don’t I just ask him then?” They turned to Lance and with a look of boredom, asked, “Do you bite?”

     Lance grinned and said, “I mean, if that’s what you’re into…”

     Pidge groaned and shoved Lance in the arm. He just laughed as they said into their phone, “He’s about as harmful as a fly so get your butt over here.” They pressed the disconnect button and dropped the phone on the table, victorious smirk clear on their face.

     “So, who’s this mysterious friend of yours?” Lance asked arms stretched behind his head as he slouched in the plastic chair.

     “His name’s Keith and he’s an emo little dalek.”

     “Even though I gave up on the emo thing, doesn't mean that sentence was ok. I am _not_ a dalek,” a voice said from behind Lance. The source of the voice emerged as a short, mullet-haired guy who looked like one of those guys you’d see in police stations.

     Lance just stared at the newcomer until Keith finally said to Pidge, “What’s his problem?” Pidge chuckled and shrugged, moving from their sandwich, which was now on its way to her stomach, to their orange.

     Lance shook his head and said, “Dude, do you seriously have a flipping mullet?”

     Keith’s expression hardened. “It’s not a mullet.”

     “It kinda is,” Pidge said, grinning at their friend. Keith just glared at them, turning to his book.

     “Are you still reading _Percy Jackson_?” Pidge asked.

     “No, I’m onto _Magnus Chase_.”

     “Wow, you two are such nerds,” Lance said with a chuckle. 

     "Reading books isn't 'nerdy,'" Keith said. 

     "Uh, pretty sure that's exactly what it is."

     Pidge rolled their eyes at the two. Well, at least they were somewhat getting along.

* * *

 

 


	2. Lance: Partners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance needs a partner for his English report, and Keith just so happens to need one as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote most of this like a year ago so please don't judge my writing "skill" based on this. please lol
> 
>  
> 
> sub to pewdiepie

     It had been nearly three weeks since Pidge and Keith had edged their way into Lance’s life, and Lance couldn’t be happier-according the outside world, anyway. He was definitely thankful for Pidge and Keith, but life of course had to be more complicated than that.

     “Hey, Lance!” Hunk hollered, running up to his best friend. He pulled the brunet into a back-crushing hug, to which Lance winced and tried not to cry out in pain. Hunk didn’t notice, and stepped back to say, “I missed you, dude!”

     “Hunk, I was only gone for a day,” Lance said, a small smiling playing on his lips.

     “Yeah, but that lead into the weekend and then we had off yesterday and you weren’t texting back so I just missed you!”

     “Oh, yeah, sorry, my phone’s not working right for some reason,” Lance replied, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. Hunk just hugged him again, earning an internal wince from Lance. Thankfully, the bell rang, causing them to have to head to chemistry class.

* * *

     “Alright, you have two weeks to complete this project. You will be doing it in pairs, so go ahead and find a partner. Remember, this will be counted as two test grades, so do your best. Alright, class dismissed.” The classroom immediately erupted with students grabbing their belongings and scurrying out of the room.

     As they walked into the hall, Lance asked Hunk, “So, are we gonna be partners again?”

     Hunk scratched his head and said, “Actually, Pidge and I are teaming up on this one. Sorry, dude.” Lance felt his heart drop.

     “O-oh, ok, no problem, man. See you later.” Hunk saluted with a smile and disappeared into the swarm of other students.

* * *

     Back at home, Lance milled over who to ask to partner up with for the English project. He had already asked Plax, but she already had a partner. Finally, Lance pulled out his phone.

_I am so gonna regret this._

**_LanceyLance to kogayne_ **

**_5:12-LanceyLance-_** Hey do you have a partner for Thace’s project yet?

     Lance paced around his room when ten minutes had passed, but Keith hadn’t responded back yet. He sighed, and lay down on his bed, staring at the plastic stars stuck to his ceiling. He had just started to drift off into dreamland, when his phone chimed.

 ** _5:57-kogayne-_** nope.

     Lance shot up and pumped his fist in the air.

 ** _5:57-LanceyLance-_** Cool, me neither. Wanna partner up?

 ** _5:58-kogayne-_** as long as we do the project on george orwell's 1984

 ** _5:58-kogayne-_** and as long as you do some of he reading and don't leave me with all of the work

     Lance’s face fell as he just stared at his phone.  _Crap, crap, crap._

 ** _5:59-LanceyLance-_** No way are we doing that.

 ** _6:01-kogayne-_** what, you scared?

 ** _6:01-LanceyLance-_** Pft, I’m not scared of anything.

 ** _6:01-kogayne-_** great, meet you tomorrow in the library during lunch.

Lance stared at his phone, mouth wide open.

_Wait, what?_

     “That little… Ugh,” he cursed himself for falling into that trap. Swallowing the lump in his throat as well as his pride, he crept downstairs and to the door of Isa’s room.

     He knocked quietly and waited until he heard Isa say, “Come in.” He opened the door and cautiously stepped forward. He hadn’t talked to Isa since he told her about Marco, so he was nervous.

     “Hey,” he said.

     “Hey.”

     “Can I talk to you?” Isa nodded and patted her bed next to her. He sat down and looked down at the floor.

     “I need help,” he said succinctly.

     Isa scoffed and said, “Is that seriously the only reason you came to talk to me? Lance, you’ve been avoiding me, and don’t try to tell me that you haven’t been; I’m not dumb. Why didn’t you talk to me?”

     “I-I… I don’t know. I guess I just don’t want you to get involved and get hurt.” Lance sighed. “I-I’m sorry.”

     “Hey, I’m not gonna get hurt. But you need to talk to me, Lance. You can’t keep holding it inside. That’s not good,” Isa said, lightly rubbing Lance’s back.

     “I know. I won’t hold it in.” Isa smiled and wrapped her arms around her brother.

     "Good. Now, what do you need help with?”

     Lance took a deep breath and said, “Phew, ok, so…”

     He had finally finished recounting the entirety of what had been going on in school when he got to the project.

     “So, Keith and I partnered up for the stupid project, but he said he would only partner with me if I read some book. How the hell am I gonna do that without him finding out that I can’t read stupid books that are more advanced than middle school?” Lance groaned and hid his face in his hands. “I should just convince Hunk to pair up with me instead of Pidge.”

     Isa took his hands and said, “Stop being so dramatic. I know you can read more advanced books. Yes, it's harder for you than it is for most people, but it's not that bad. It won’t be that horrible.”

     “But it will!” Lance flopped back on the bed, staring at the stars almost identical to the ones on his own ceiling.

     Isa sighed and said, “Alright, how about this: I’ll read the book and summarize it for you. How’s that?”

     Lance surged forward and grabbed Isa’s shoulders with a huge grin, nearly screeching, “Really?? You are the best little sister ever!”

     Isa rolled her eyes and said, “Yeah, yeah, but you have to do my Spanish homework for like a month, alright?”

     “Fine by me!” Lance cried, hugging her with a huge smile. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” he yelled.

     Isa smiled slyly and said, “You really like this Keith, don’t you?”

     Lance’s face grew red as he sputtered, “What? No way! He’s so not my type.”

     “Lance, he’s exactly your type.” Lance groaned and leaned his head on her shoulder.

     “I’m so gay,” he muttered.

     “No, you’re bi.” Lance shrugged, knowing he was screwed either way.

* * *

     The next day, Lance had been dreading meeting Keith in the library. He was still so thankful for his sister agreeing to help him, but that would be after she would be able to read the book. Until then, he had to throw on the charm.

     “Hey Keithy!” he called, heading over to the table that Keith was sitting at. 

     "Another stupid nickname? Really?" Keith replied without looking up. He was reading a book with an open notebook next to him. 

     "Hey! My nicknames aren't stupid!" 

     Keith finally looked up and said, "Let's see, in just the past few weeks that I've known you, you've called me 'Mullet,' 'Keithy,' 'Samurai,' and 'Space Ranger.'"

     "Oh, come on, those are great!" Lance said as he sat down. Keith just rolled his eyes in reply. "So, what are we doing for the project?"

     Keith closed the book. "Well, I was thinking that we could compare Orwell's _1984_ to the state of the world today."

     "Ugh, seriously? Can't we just do a summary of the book or something? That's probably what everyone else is going to do. Besides, we have like two weeks to finish it."

     "Look, if we're going to do this project together, you need to take this seriously. I'm not letting you drag my grade down."

     Lance sighed. "Fine, fine. So what's my job again?"

     Keith rolled his eyes. "Just read the book by Monday, alright? Try to take notes too." 

     "Notes? Are you serious?" 

     "Yes. Like I said, I'm not letting you ruin my grade on this," Keith said, frowning. He grabbed the book and notebook and shoved them in his backpack. 

     "Right, yeah, sorry," Lance said, sitting up straight. "I'll, uh, meet you here Monday at lunch?" 

     "Yeah, see you then. Make sure you read it," he said, leaving Lance alone at the table. 

     "Ok then," Lance said to himself. 

* * *

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next one might take a bit longer to come out, but i'm not abandoning it.


	3. Keith: Movie Marathon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Platonic kidge is at it again with a horror movie marathon and feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen to the musicals fun home and next to normal bc they're amazing and i adore them and yeah
> 
> also stan welcome to nightvale [the podcast] for amazing diversity and stories
> 
> i hate myself for making the chapters so long [literally, what the frick, 2017 rory]
> 
>  
> 
> **TRIGGER WARNING**  
>  _panic attack_

     Keith sighed as he slumped lower in his seat on the bus. His meeting with Lance in the library had definitely not gone the way he had anticipated. He supposed that he shouldn't have been so... brash; he just couldn't afford to screw this up. He was driven to make his dad proud. He wasn't about to let him down. 

     The bus stopped on the road near his house, and he got off with two other kids. The other two waved to each other, but Keith just continued to ignore them as always. He walked the short distance to his house and took out his key, unlocking and opening the door. He closed the door behind him and slipped off his shoes, tossing his keys onto the shelf. After grabbing an apple, he headed upstairs to his room. 

     Keith shrugged off his backpack onto his chair before lying back on his bed with a sigh. He had about half an hour until Shiro and Adam got home. He pulled out his phone, typing out a text. 

**_kogayne to actualpidgeon_ **

**_3:37-kogayne-_** crappy horror movie marathon?

 ** _3:38-actualpidgeon-_** didn't we literally just do one of those

 _ **3:38-kogayne-**_ and?

 _ **3:38-actualpidegon-**_ bring snacks

     Keith chuckled, pushing himself up off the bed. He grabbed his jacket before heading out, grabbing a bag of chips on the way out. 

* * *

 

     About ten minutes later, Keith was walking up the stairs of the Holt's house to Pidge's room. He knocked on their door once before walking in. 

     They barely flinched, saying, "Did you bring the snacks?" Keith silently held up the bag of chips. He managed to find a path through Pidge's piles of random things on the floor to their bed, sitting down and pulling off his shoes. 

     "So, what movies are we watching?" he asked. 

      Pidge swatted his shoulder. "Shouldn't you be choosing? You're the one that wanted to watch something." Keith just shrugged in reply. Rolling their eyes, Pidge opened a folder on their laptop, browsing through their totally legally downloaded cache of old movies. Hovering the cursor on a movie, they asked, "How 'bout this one?"

     Keith shrugged. "Sure," he said, pulling off his jacket and sitting back against the wall. 

     The movie started up as Pidge scooted back next to him. The movie they had chosen was  _Without Warning,_ a horror movie from 1980. 

     This tradition of crappy old movie marathons had been in place since the two were in middle school. Keith had known the Holts for almost half of his life, the family already being close with Shiro and Adam. Pidge and Keith had gotten along well pretty quickly and had continued to be good friends through the years. 

     A lot of times, movie marathons for "Kidge," their friendship name according to Pidge, led to sleepy discussions of various things. Usually, they would talk about different cryptids or aliens, but sometimes the conversations turned to more serious topics. 

     "Pidge?"

     "Yeah?" 

     "Why are relationships so hard?"

     Pidge scoffed, rolling onto their side to look at Keith. "Dude, I am like the last person to ask for that."

     Keith rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that's probably why we're friends. 

     Pidge snorted, rolling back onto their back. "True." A moment of silence passes before Pidge said, "Why'd you ask?"

     Keith shrugged. "No reason."

     "Oh come on, Keith, I know you better than that," Pidge said, sitting up and looking down at Keith. 

     "Seriously, it's nothing." 

     Pidge raised an eyebrow. Keith imitated them. Sighing, Pidge flopped back down on their back. 

     "I'm still not tired," they said, staring up at the ceiling. 

     "Me neither."

     "Mario Cart?"

     Keith smiled. "Mario Cart."

* * *

     Keith trudged down the street, feet splashing in the puddles the rain was making as it poured down. He had slept over at Pidge's again, and figured he should probably head back home. He had texted his brother to let him know where he was, but Shiro still wasn't a huge fan of Keith's impromptu plans. He finally reached their house and unlocked the door. Getting inside, he shook as much water from his hair as he could. 

     “Shiro, I’m back,” he called. Keith didn’t hear any reply. He shrugged off his jacket and kicked off his shoes. There was a note where he usually put his keys. 

 

_Keith-_

_I'm out getting groceries. Shiro wasn't feeling too well this morning and might be taking a nap when you get back. I should be back around 2._

_-Adam_

 

     Crumpling the note and shoving it in his pocket, Keith headed upstairs to his room. He stopped before the door, listening carefully. He thought that he had heard a noise coming from Shiro and Adam's room.  

     "Shiro?” He called quietly. He cautiously opened the door. Shiro was curled up in a ball, back against the wall, hand over his ear that wasn't pressed to his shoulder, and eyes clenched shut. He was breathing irregularly, gasping for breath every few moments. Sweat as pouring down his face, and his body was shaking horribly. Keith rushed over, kneeling next to him. The cries escaping Shiro scared him, but he had to do something. He had to help.

     "Shiro, hey, it's-it's ok," he said, trying not to panic. Shiro whimpered, curling in on himself more. "Shit, shit, shit," Keith chanted under his breath. Staying where he was, he called Adam. "C'mon, pick up, pick up," he muttered, hand clenching into a fist as he tried to calm himself down. 

     Finally, he heard Adam's voice through the phone and almost cried in relief. "Keith? What is it?"

     "Shiro, he-he's," Keith couldn't finish his sentence, panic gripping at his heart as Shiro flinched away from the noise. Keith let out a choked sob, scooting further away from his brother.  

     Adam seemed to understand. "I'll be right there."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please let me know if I portrayed anything incorrectly. I do not have PTSD nor have I researched it much yet, but I do not want to write it incorrectly. please call me out if I do that.


	4. Keith: Shiro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for how long the wait to update this was! I've been working on a bunch of other projects meanwhile. I also wanted to do some research on ptsd flashbacks to make sure that I wouldn't write it incorrectly. that being said, please let me know if I did portray anything incorrectly.

     Keith tried to steady his breathing as he attempted to listen to what Adam was saying over the phone, but he could barely focus on anything. 

     His head shot up as he heard a loud cry. "Shiro,"  he choked out. 

     "Keith, hey, can you hear me?" Adam said over the phone. Keith took a deep breath and nodded. 

     "Yeah, yeah I can- I can hear you."

     "Ok, good. Are either of you hurt?"

     Keith shook his head after quickly checking Shiro from where he was. "No, I don't think so." 

     "Ok, alright, that's good. I'm almost home, Keith." Keith sighed in relief. "Keep talking to me; how is he?"

     Keith took another deep breath and focused back on Shiro. He was still curled up, face hidden in his arm. His breath came in ragged puffs of air, and he had yet to stop shaking. It wasn't good.

     "He-he's-"

     "Take your time. You're alright, Keith."

     "Shit, Adam, it's-it's not good." Keith winced when Adam muttered a curse under his breath. Adam rarely cursed, and when he did, you knew he was stressed. "His breathing-Adam, it's bad. Gods, what-what do I do?" Keith held the phone to his ear with both hands, being too shaky to hold it with one. 

     "Just, uh, hold on, Keith, I'm coming, ok? It's going to be ok. Try to see if he'll respond to you."

     "How?"

     "Try to get him to focus on something. A sound, a feeling, anything."

     "Ok, ok, I can do that," Keith muttered to himself. "Shiro? Shiro, can you hear me?" Keith tried to keep his voice soft and level. 

     "Try music; there's a playlist on his phone he uses a lot." Keith reached onto the bed for Shiro's phone, trying to find the playlist. "I'll be up in just a minute, Keith. It's going to be ok."

     Keith took a deep breath and nodded, forgetting that Adam couldn't see him. He found the playlist labeled  _calm_ and pressed play. A song started playing softly. Keith sat, trying to stay calm. 

    Only a moment later, Adam came through the door, slowing as he approached Shiro. He sat down next to Keith and said, "Why don't you get the groceries? He's going to be ok." Keith nodded and got up, handing him Shiro's phone. 

     He heard Adam speaking softly to Shiro as he left the room, closing the door behind him. Walking shakily, he made it to the stairs before sinking to sit down. His heart was racing. He wrapped his arms around himself and tried to take a deep breath. Now that he was alone, he finally let himself cry, burrowing his head in his arms.

     He had witnessed Shiro's flashbacks before, but he had never seen one this bad. It scared him. He didn't know how to help. Keith took a shaky breath and tried to stop the tears flowing from his eyes. Clearing his throat and palming at his eyes, he forced himself up. He figured the least he could do was put away the groceries. 

* * *

 

     The chore distracted Keith for a bit. After he was finished putting groceries away, he even went so far as to clean the kitchen up from breakfast. He was tempted to text Pidge and ask if he could go over again to distract himself, but he knew he couldn't. He had to be here for Shiro. He was his brother; he loved him.

     He was just settling on the couch to watch something on his laptop when Adam came down. Keith shut his laptop off and looked at him expectantly.

     "He's alright. He's sleeping," Adam said, sitting next to him. Keith relaxed with a sigh. "You did a good job, Keith. I know it was tough to stay calm, but you did well." 

     "I was far from calm."

     "Yes, but you didn't freak out. You didn't panic and make the situation worse. I know that was hard to watch. I'm sorry I wasn't here." 

     Keith shrugged. "Not your fault. It's those bastards who thought of-"

     Adam cut him off. "Keith. Thinking about that isn't going to help. It's just going to make the hurt worse. What they did was horrible, but it's done. There's nothing more to be said or done about it."

     Keith shot out of his seat. "That's great to say, but it's not just done and over with! Shiro is still affected by what those assholes did! Hell, Adam, he's missing a fricking arm!"

     "Kei-"

     "And the flashbacks and panic attacks?" Keith paced around angrily. 

     "Keith-"

     "That's not normal!"

     "Keith!"

     Keith whirled around to face Adam who had stood up. "What?!"

     "I understand that you're hurting too, but you can't just think that blaming people will take that hurt away. You're latching on to that hurt, Keith. You have to let it go. What happened and continues to happen to Shiro is horrible, yes, but we can't get upset like this. We have to be there for him. We have to be there for each other." Keith sighed and looked away. Adam reached forward and laid a hand on his shoulder. "I know it's hard. It's hard for me too. But we'll get through this. We're a family."

     Keith scoffed. "What a messed up family we are."

     Adam smiled slightly. "Yeah, well, at least we're a mess together." He pulled Keith into a gentle hug. "I love you, Keith. So does Shiro."

     "I love you too."

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> I have nothing to say.  
> 


End file.
